Ask For Help

Ask For Help: A Sign of Strength

For a long time, I took great pride in never needing to rely on others. As a conflict-avoidant people-pleaser, I would often pride myself on never allowing myself to rely on others. I certainly wouldn’t let myself burden somebody else with my struggles.

I jokingly shared my feelings about asking for help on Instagram: "I would gladly help others without a second thought. But saw it as a character flaw for myself (and ONLY myself) if I asked for help."

I believed that this was one of my strengths: figuring everything out on my own and being available to help everybody else, but never asking others for help or guidance.

However, I’ve come to realize how silly – and harmful – this mentality was. And I’ll drill the point home in two wholesome ways.

Asking For Help is a Sign of Strength

The Lord of the Rings has been at the front of my mind for the past week. I’ve been listening to a 3-part series about the making of the trilogy on the What Went Wrong? Podcast. It covers how this trilogy came to life, just how many things had to go right, and what a monumental feat it was bringing Tolkien to the big screen in such incredible and cinematically brilliant fashion.

Thinking about Middle Earth and Lord of the Rings reminded me of one of the memes that inspired me to start therapy. If Aragorn, the manliest man ever, leaned on his friends… maybe it’s okay for me to lean on others for help too.

Asking For Help is a Super Power

While I reflected on writing this newsletter, I stumbled across a video that brought a massive smile to my face. Powerlifter/personal trainer Sherein Abdelhady was filming herself doing heavy deadlifts in a commercial gym, and a random dude approached her between sets and asked one of the most wholesome questions I’ve ever seen in a gym interaction: "Hey, this is a weird request… but can you teach me how to deadlift?"

His request was polite and respectful, and Abdelhady was more than happy to help! As a result, this guy learned how to deadlift from somebody who knew much more than he did in that area! And now this guy will have a better experience (and probably save himself from injury) for the rest of his life doing this incredible exercise.

What a super power! Props to this guy for being a real human, and recognizing that asking for help and being open to learning is a freaking superpower.

Asking For Help (One Last Thought)

I’ll leave you with one final thought before I ask YOU for a request. When I ask for help, I have a tendency to follow it up with "I owe you one." However, this thought from professor Adam Grant changed my perspective: "I help because it’s the right thing to do!"

Here’s my question for you today: Is there a part of your life where you’ve avoided asking for help, trying to figure it all out on your own? Can you reframe this in a more useful way? One that sees asking for help as a sign of intelligence and strength – not weakness. Can you reach out for help today, and NOT say "thanks I owe you one" and instead just pay it forward?

Conclusion

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit when we need help, and it’s okay to not have all the answers. By asking for help, we can learn from others, grow as individuals, and build stronger relationships.

FAQs

Q: Why is it hard for you to ask for help?
A: I used to see asking for help as a sign of weakness, and I wanted to be independent and self-sufficient.

Q: How did you change your perspective on asking for help?
A: I realized that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to admit when we need help, and it’s okay to not have all the answers.

Q: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about asking for help?
A: The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that asking for help is not about being weak, but about being smart. It’s about recognizing that we can’t do everything on our own, and that asking for help is a sign of intelligence and strength.

Q: How can I apply this to my own life?
A: Start by identifying areas where you’ve been avoiding asking for help. Reframe these situations in a more positive light, and recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Then, take the leap and ask for help when you need it.